“We must do our work for its own sake, not for fortune or attention or applause.”
- Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles
Have you ever accidentally (or intentionally) discovered a calling in you life that invigorates your soul and engages you in it’s exiting possibility? Then dove head first into it’s deep, unknown depths only to discover that you were terrified of what you might find? Did you high-tail it out of there and quickly run to the jacuzzi or did you have the courage to stay and see what you discover? Totally asking for a friend…
There was a time about 4 years ago when I was struggling very deeply to understand what the hell I was doing with my life. I have touched on the experience before in some of my other videos and blogs but in a nutshell basically, I had to make a giant shift in my entire way of existing in this reality. And one of the ways I was able to heal and evolve from that space was the rediscovery of how much I enjoy writing.
Rediscovering writing was like happening upon this sacred gold mine of artistic expression…suddenly after years, or even decades of unconscious repression I was finally able to unleash the thoughts, stories and emotions trapped within me. I started with journaling daily, then quickly jumped into blogging often…I blogged my entire 800km journey across Spain when I did the Camino de Santiago. I used writing as a medium for expressing my deepest vulnerabilities and strangely, I felt that if I could write it out and put it on a page then I could begin to live more peacefully and authentically.
I happily wrote regularly for about a year but then something happened. I fell off the wagon. I was excited that wonderful events were happening all around me because I was healing and life was evolving. Other interests and old patterns were competing for my attention. I tried my best to continue the writing but after a while, my blogging or any sort of creative writing I did on my own time began to diminish.
Creative resistance is inevitable.
It’s kind of like a diet in a way…you’re super gung-ho to begin with but when it comes down to commitment and daily practice, it’s really easy to let yourself get derailed and snowball into old patterns.
In reality, I simply wasn’t ready to commit myself to the practice. I struggled to bring writing into my lifestyle, as it challenged me out of my comfort zone. Instead I reverted to my familiar ways and would list a variety of excuses every time I had a tickle of inspiration to write.
Here’s a list of my most common bull shit excuses:
It’s time consuming. I have work to do. Don’t you know I have a business to run? Then I have to train for 6 hours, then teach for 8 and then be on set for some ungodly hour. Did I mention I needed to edit videos, post to instagram and answer questions on Facebook? Totally not making myself “busy” at all. And I totally don’t spend hours going down the rabbit hole of youtube tarot reading videos at all…
I don’t know what to write about. Or, I don’t know what people want to hear from me. Although, I will give myself credit here for consistently becoming less and less attached to giving any fucks about what people think of me.
I have to learn how to tell stories more efficiently. This also goes for real life too. I have this habit of going way to far in the gory details of my story. It’s as if I need to tell you my complete life’s story before I can set you up to tell you about that time I snuck into the Latin Grammy’s to meet Nick Carter. It all started when I was about 5 years old and joined the sport of Baton Twirling…
Nobody reads my blog which is totally disheartening and makes me feel unloved. Boo hoo, woe is me…
I need to transfer my entire website over to Wordpress because the blog feature on my current hosting site SUCKS BALLS! (Totally legit…there are may other reasons I need to make the switch but still bullocks none-the-less.)
I will get back into writing when I am ready. It’s not the right time. While I believe that if you are not prepared to jump in fully, you should not jump in at all. (I hate half-assing things.) I still think this is a bull shit excuse.
I’ll do it later. I’m too tried. I don’t feel like it. I should read my tarot cards and see what my guides tell me. Michelle Christa Smith - Master Procrastinator
I’m sure there is more…I am quite creative after all…
So, here I am, it’s late September 2017. I am returning home from my friends Dawn and Ben’s wedding on a lake near Montreal. It was a beautiful ceremony celebrating love, laughter and new/old friends. - mostly jugglers of all styles and forms. Creativity was all around me; in the people, the props, the nature surrounding us. And best of all, there was no service on the iPhone.
It was peace.
A moment to catch my breath and reset.
This last year has been full of transformation and evolution. My old patterns simply do not suit me anymore. My career is changing, my relationships are evolving, my priorities are shifting. My entire vibration is elevating and I am beginning to tune into a new frequency I have not heard before. The universal radio transmission is steering me in a direction that is completely foreign and it’s so far from my current comfort zone that I find myself resisting it’s call.
Why? Because I’m terrified!
I am about to level up big time and I don’t know what the next level looks like. It means I have to fearlessly step into the unknown. It means I need to shift how I spend my time. It means I have be present and awake as much as possible. It means I need to enrol other people in my life because holy shit I can’t do this alone! It means I have to prioritize creativity and expression.
It means it’s time to make writing a daily non-negotiable practice.
The whispers in my ear are telling me “You’re a writer. Remember how you felt when you were writing. That is what you need to come back to.” I have no choice no but to listen. It is clear there is no other way. And so, I will courageously step forward into becoming.
Here is what I will commit to for the last 100 Days of 2017:
Journalling everyday. (Page count unnecessary.)
At least 1 hour of writing per day.(On any ongoing project whether blogs, talks or screenplay.)
Post at least one blog post per month.(Start small and see where it goes.)
This is my commitment to myself and my own personal evolution. I vow to complete it with the highest integrity and passion.
And I promise to take you along for the ride!
“The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying.”
― Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles
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